After tearing myself away from Columbia (what a country), I crossed into Ecuador to start my long journey South to Buenos Aires for my plane home. I had been in Ecuador before (3 years ago with Morris) so on this occasion I was content with just hitting the capital, Quito, and a pretty colonial town I had missed on my first visit – Cuenca. In Quito I met up with a crazy Dutch guy I had first encountered on the “Lost City” trek in Columbia. We had a great time “salsaring” our way through the bars and nightclubs of Quito – a city that I am actually very fond of. It has a beautiful setting in the middle of a valley, surrounded by mountains and, despite its reputation as a danger hot spot, I found the locals to be very friendly… I had a good time in Cuenca too – museums, wandering aimlessly (I love to do this when I arrive in a new city) and salsa were the order of the day.
At this stage I must point out that I consider myself a fairly experienced “traveler” having spent the best part of 2 years of my life, all-in-all, on the road with a backpack (including my 6 months in Uganda). But, it seems, even the self-proclaimed “experienced” traveler can get scammed…the defense I put forward in this case is that I was tired and, more importantly, so used to the friendliness and helpfulness of the Columbians, that I dropped my guard – and this, I believe, was the ultimate factor in getting led into this trap…
As I crossed from Ecuador to Peru I stopped, as formality demands, to get my exit stamp at the immigration office in Ecuador – it was here that a young guy started talking to me in a mixture of Spanish and English. He was very friendly and told me that he would show me where the ‘collectivos’ (shared taxis) were to cross into Peru, and beyond to the town of Tumbes (where I was aiming to get a bus to Mancora – a beach resort in Northern Peru). When we arrived at the border he helped me retrieve my bag from the bottom of the bus and told me to follow him. He asked if I needed to change money, which of course I did need to, and a guy walked over with a wad of cash (changing cash on the street at border crossings is normal everywhere so I didn’t think anything of it). I changed $60 and continued following my new companion – he introduced me to another guy – the collectivo driver – who was quick to show me his ID (I thought this was strange – its not normal, especially for legitimate drivers!) but I was keen to get across the border quickly and to my destination before dark. I got in the car and we were quickly joined by another man who got in the passenger seat and seemed to be friends with the driver. I asked how much it would be “$1.50 to the border” they replied, that was the price I expected, “And a little bit more to Tumbes” they added – now at this point I, of course, should have confirmed how much the “little bit more” would be, but stupidly I didn’t. So off we went, chatting like old friends, I got my Peru entry stamp and, as we set off for Tumbes, the question of money came up….”So how much more” I asked, expecting $4 or $5…”$20” they replied…And so ensued an argument, one I didn’t want to push too much as I was in a car alone (a collectivo normally fills up with people before it sets off..something else I had thought was strange, but ignored at the border) with two men, in the middle of no-mans land! Upon arrival in Tumbes we were at stalemate, they demanded $20, I was adamant that I wouldn’t pay it (I love how, when traveling, you are quite happy to put yourself in a life threatening situation in order to save a couple of pounds!...for me it’s the principle of it!). In the end, after a stand off when insults were hurled from both sides in Spanish, I parted with about $15 (the normal price, I learnt subsequently, is $7). I was annoyed, but thought ‘bov’, at least I got out unharmed with all my possessions. However, as I purchased my ticket for the bus to Mancora the hammer blow hit - the money was fake, the $60 I had changed on the border was fake – and then it all made sense, they were part of a chain – the young guy at the Ecuador immigration office, the money changer and the collectivo drivers – bollocks, I’d been had. I was annoyed, but quickly reminded myself that, in a whole year of travel, including Africa, this was the first time I’d really been screwed. My “experienced traveler” pride was dented, but in the grand scheme of things $60 is not much considering I’ve traveled through, supposedly, some of the most dangerous countries in the world in the last few months!
So…Peru…I first visited Peru 6 years ago, and on this visit I really noticed the difference – things are changing fast…changing for the better? – who knows – but certainly moving ‘forward’ in the Western sense of the word. There is still a hell of a lot of poverty in Peru, but the infrastructure has vastly improved in the last 6 years. It made me think about Africa, Uganda in particular, and something that Chris Patten (former Governor of Hong Kong) had said to Karl before departing to Uganda last year (Karl works on Harley Street in London and meets a lot of famous/VIP types…including Claudia Schiffer..well almost). Chris Patten, through his governmental responsibilities, has traveled extensively in Africa and Asia over the last 30-40 years, and a comment that he made to Karl has stuck in my mind ever since – “The difference between Africa and Asia is that everytime I return to Asia I notice that it has changed, that it is moving ‘forward’, but every time I return to Africa I don’t notice a difference and, if anything, its going backwards”. To explore this statement, and the reasons behind it, would take a whole book, so I’m not going to go there now(!), suffice to say that South America is firmly in the ‘Asian Camp’ in terms of ‘progress’ (as well as Peru I noticed a huge difference in Chile compared to 6 years ago)...anyway, I digress!
Mancora was, exactly what it says on the tin – a beach and not much else apart from the beach – “small and dusty”, is the best way to describe the town. But it was hot and the hostal I stayed in had a really nice swimming pool (hostals are changing too!), so it was nice to chill out for a couple of days (when in the ‘compound’ of the hostal it felt like I was on a package holiday in Spain – a strange feeling after 6 months on the road).
Next stop was Trujillo – the third largest city in Peru, and home to a good friend (Nora) I had met in Buenos Aires at the start of my trip. I spent 6 fantastic days with Nora and her family, exploring the local pre-inca ruins (including an amazing adobe – mud-brick – palace and city) as well as really experiencing Peruvian family life and Peruvian food (ceviche being my favourite – basically fresh, raw fish in lemon juice – beats sushi hands down). It was a brilliant 6 days and I was sad to leave.
The final stop in Peru was Lima – I had two days in Lima and got a look at the two extremes of the social spectrum in the capital. On Saturday I met up with a couple of friends I had encountered in Brazil and headed to a birthday party in a very rich neighbourhood. If you have ever watched the sickening MTV programme “My Sweet 16th”, you will get a picture of what the party was like – big house, swimming pool, dj, marquee, free bar, free food, waiters in tuxedos…and the guy was only 18! Ok, so it wasn’t anywhere near those disgusting “Sweet 16th” parties, but considering I was in Peru it was pretty damn extravagant…still, it was good to see my friends. Sunday was completely different, and altogether more real.
6 years ago, on my first visit to Peru, I joined a tour for 3 weeks. I quickly learnt that I was not a ‘tour person’, but the guide was brilliant, a really nice guy, and we often ended up going for beers after the rest of the group had gone to bed. Anyway, I had been trying to get hold of his contact details for the last 2 months from the tour company in England, but had received no response. However, whilst walking around Lima on the Saturday I started to recognize places and streets (my visual memory is pretty good), when I stumbled across a plaza that I definitely recognised. (It was at this point that I assumed the role of Jason Bourne…errr, ok, so I’m reading Bourne Supremacy at the moment and might be getting carried away…but, honestly, this was Bourne-esque!) Images flashed through my mind and, following my instincts, I retraced steps I had taken 6 years previously and managed to find the small hotel I had stayed in (bearing in my mind I had no road name or hotel name to go on). I walked in and asked the receptionist if they knew a tour guide called ‘Dante’, who was from the highlands of Peru, had a tattoo of his son on his arm, and had stayed in the hotel with a tour group 6 years ago (the only information I could recall!). He said he had the number of 2 guides with the name of Dante. I called one and, low and behold, it was the right one – chances – Bourne would have been proud! We arranged to meet at 1pm the next day (incredibly Dante was just finishing a tour and returning to Lima that evening) and what followed was a fantastic day with Dante and his family in their house (it was fathers day) and two separate street parties attended soley by people from the highlands of Peru – among the poorest of the residents in Lima. Weird costumes, even weirder dancing…and copious amounts of alcohol - it’s the custom that one glass is shared by the group you are with and this is filled, consumed and passed to the next person as quickly as possible! It was a great day, completely unique, completely authentic and, by the end of it, completely drunk! These are the kind of experiences I really treasure when traveling. Thanks Dante.
And here I am, back where it all started, in the incredible, alluring, addictive city of Buenos Aires. I took a flight from Lima and, as soon as the plane touched down, I started smiling – I just love this city. It’s been an amazing 6 months, full of incredible experiences and, you may ask, what about the Spanish??! Well, I can certainly get by – buying food, drinks, bus tickets, hotel rooms is not a problem…and, I can, now, have a conversation in Spanish, albeit a very slow, simple conversation in Spanish! The 2 months in Portuguese speaking Brazil didn’t help, but I’m getting there, and I’m more determined than ever to continue studying and learning this beautiful language on my return.
******** Bonus Section - Summary of a Years Worth of Musing ********
I’ve had a lot of time to think over the course of this incredible year in my life. A lot of time to look at myself, at my life, at who I am, at where I’m heading and, ultimately, at what life’s about. I haven’t come up with any radically new ideas or theories, but I have started to fully understand some that have been banded around by philosophers, religious leaders, poets and popstars(!) alike over the last 1000 years or so.
This life is the only one you will live – no, the possibility of reincarnation is not entirely lost on me (on the contrary, I have started to think this is a real possibility), but I do believe that the current life you are living is the only one you will remember – the only one you are consciously aware of. You may well have been the Queen of Sheeba, Albert Einstein, or a butterfly, in a former life, but you can’t really remember it can you? You have to (and I apologise now that this last post is going to be full of cheesy clichés) “live life to the fullest”. Everything in life is an experience –and you should embrace each experience, learn from it, and move on. Don’t waste your time and energy getting angry/upset/mad/sad/depressed about “bad” things that happen to you over which you have no control. Just soak up the experience (Bov it) and move on – “life is too short” (that’s 2!). Seek out new experiences – you can only grow as a person if you are learning, and to experience is to learn. Traveling is one way to have hundreds of new, exciting, scary, uplifting, exhilarating experiences in a condensed time period. For those that are reading this, sitting at desks in a job you neither enjoy nor gain satisfaction from, and especially for those that have never felt the weight of a backpack on their shoulders, I urge you to take the opportunity, the huge opportunity, that we, in the West, have to travel. We are so lucky to have been born in countries in which the opportunities really are endless – don’t miss this one particular opportunity that will help you grow as an individual and, ultimately, help you to appreciate all the other opportunities that you have at your disposal.
Traveling also really hammers home the point that “we are all one” (is that 3 now?!). All around the world, regardless of race, religion or creed, commonalities are easy to see. Children display this more clearly than adults (before they are ‘polluted’ by society, cultural stereotypes or ideology) – for example, have you ever noticed how kids everywhere get immense pleasure from simply running around in circles(!)…and, indeed, from chasing pigeons! This, in my mind, is categorically the proof that we are all one! But, ultimately, what bonds us all, I believe, is the common desire to be happy. Now, I acknowledge that people around the world have different ideas about what will make them happy (money, corporate success, fame, spiritual well-being… etc) but we do all have the same objective. Money, for me, is certainly not a source of happiness. Whilst working for Accenture I could never say that I was rich, but I certainly had more money than I had ever had in the past – but was I happy? Working long hours on tedious, mind-numbing projects that neither challenged the intellect, nor provided any satisfaction (“I can’t get no, ouh ouh ouh, satisfaction” – does that count as 4??!) ensured that true happiness was kept firmly at bay - indeed, I felt like my life was on hold for 4 and a half years – and when you’ve only got one life, that’s a long time! I’m not saying I’m going to run off to the hills and set my self up in a self-sustainable farm somewhere (although I think this would be an interesting experience) – I know that I need money to live, I’m just saying that the pursuit of it (and, indeed, the pursuit of a ‘career’), at the neglect of other more important things in life (relationships, friends, family, simply enjoying oneself), is not the route to happiness. Someone rich in experiences and knowledge, for me, is a much richer person than someone with huge material wealth.
True happiness then, to achieve that allusive state, I’m starting to learn that you need to be happy with yourself, who you are, where you are, what you do, where you are going – you need to be confident in what you believe, but leave yourself open to new, different ideas. You need to build strong and genuine relationships with family and friends – to be unselfish, to be there for them, to listen and to respond. Your physical location, for sure, can have an influence on your state of mind (as can the weather!), but this isn’t a permanent contributor to happiness – I have always maintained that it is not where you are, but who you’re with that makes a great night out – and this applies in the wider context of where you are living your life. [Some of the happiest, certainly some of the smiliest, people I know reside in a small village called Bajjo in Uganda. And, while we’re at it, I firmly believe in the old saying “smile and the world smiles with you” (that’s 5)].
The last couple of years have also taught me that the “cherry on top” (can I include that as 6?!) of it all is to find someone you love, someone who is in the same position as you (physically and mentally), someone who loves you equally and unconditionally - to share your life, who you are and you relationships, with that person is magical. You need to be your own person first, however, to be your own ‘circle’ – the other person shouldn’t “complete you” (7) – Jerry Maguire was wrong on that count! You should be happy and complete first – but sharing that happiness with someone you love really does enhance it. This is the ultimate, the ‘final piece of the puzzle’ and the most difficult to achieve, but, I believe, from my limited experience, it’s worth the search.
As I board the plane tomorrow, leaving behind this incredible and beautiful continent and, with my exit, the end of my ‘Big Year Out’, I don’t feel sad as I thought I might. Instead I am incredibly excited. I’m excited about seeing friends and family, I’m excited about roast dinners, gravy, fry-ups and a good cup of tea! I’m excited about re-loading my iPod with music (my iPod was wiped in Brazil – I’ve had some very painful, very long, bus journeys!) and I’m excited about the future. I don’t know exactly what I’m going to do when I return, but I’m not scared. I have some ideas and which ever one transpires will be an experience in which to learn and grow. One thing I know for sure is that I can’t face doing a job in which I neither believe in, nor gain satisfaction from – I’ve done that, I‘ve experienced that and I’ve learnt from that.
I’m going to end with a quote from an incredibly cheesy movie (Australia) that I saw on a date with a beautiful Peruvian girl. It may be cheesy, but bov, it really rings true for my current state of mind… “Some people surround themselves in possessions – houses, cars, gadgets – in the pursuit of happiness, but, all of these things can be taken away and, at the end of the day, all you are left with is your story – and I’m just trying to live a good one”.
At this stage I must point out that I consider myself a fairly experienced “traveler” having spent the best part of 2 years of my life, all-in-all, on the road with a backpack (including my 6 months in Uganda). But, it seems, even the self-proclaimed “experienced” traveler can get scammed…the defense I put forward in this case is that I was tired and, more importantly, so used to the friendliness and helpfulness of the Columbians, that I dropped my guard – and this, I believe, was the ultimate factor in getting led into this trap…
As I crossed from Ecuador to Peru I stopped, as formality demands, to get my exit stamp at the immigration office in Ecuador – it was here that a young guy started talking to me in a mixture of Spanish and English. He was very friendly and told me that he would show me where the ‘collectivos’ (shared taxis) were to cross into Peru, and beyond to the town of Tumbes (where I was aiming to get a bus to Mancora – a beach resort in Northern Peru). When we arrived at the border he helped me retrieve my bag from the bottom of the bus and told me to follow him. He asked if I needed to change money, which of course I did need to, and a guy walked over with a wad of cash (changing cash on the street at border crossings is normal everywhere so I didn’t think anything of it). I changed $60 and continued following my new companion – he introduced me to another guy – the collectivo driver – who was quick to show me his ID (I thought this was strange – its not normal, especially for legitimate drivers!) but I was keen to get across the border quickly and to my destination before dark. I got in the car and we were quickly joined by another man who got in the passenger seat and seemed to be friends with the driver. I asked how much it would be “$1.50 to the border” they replied, that was the price I expected, “And a little bit more to Tumbes” they added – now at this point I, of course, should have confirmed how much the “little bit more” would be, but stupidly I didn’t. So off we went, chatting like old friends, I got my Peru entry stamp and, as we set off for Tumbes, the question of money came up….”So how much more” I asked, expecting $4 or $5…”$20” they replied…And so ensued an argument, one I didn’t want to push too much as I was in a car alone (a collectivo normally fills up with people before it sets off..something else I had thought was strange, but ignored at the border) with two men, in the middle of no-mans land! Upon arrival in Tumbes we were at stalemate, they demanded $20, I was adamant that I wouldn’t pay it (I love how, when traveling, you are quite happy to put yourself in a life threatening situation in order to save a couple of pounds!...for me it’s the principle of it!). In the end, after a stand off when insults were hurled from both sides in Spanish, I parted with about $15 (the normal price, I learnt subsequently, is $7). I was annoyed, but thought ‘bov’, at least I got out unharmed with all my possessions. However, as I purchased my ticket for the bus to Mancora the hammer blow hit - the money was fake, the $60 I had changed on the border was fake – and then it all made sense, they were part of a chain – the young guy at the Ecuador immigration office, the money changer and the collectivo drivers – bollocks, I’d been had. I was annoyed, but quickly reminded myself that, in a whole year of travel, including Africa, this was the first time I’d really been screwed. My “experienced traveler” pride was dented, but in the grand scheme of things $60 is not much considering I’ve traveled through, supposedly, some of the most dangerous countries in the world in the last few months!
So…Peru…I first visited Peru 6 years ago, and on this visit I really noticed the difference – things are changing fast…changing for the better? – who knows – but certainly moving ‘forward’ in the Western sense of the word. There is still a hell of a lot of poverty in Peru, but the infrastructure has vastly improved in the last 6 years. It made me think about Africa, Uganda in particular, and something that Chris Patten (former Governor of Hong Kong) had said to Karl before departing to Uganda last year (Karl works on Harley Street in London and meets a lot of famous/VIP types…including Claudia Schiffer..well almost). Chris Patten, through his governmental responsibilities, has traveled extensively in Africa and Asia over the last 30-40 years, and a comment that he made to Karl has stuck in my mind ever since – “The difference between Africa and Asia is that everytime I return to Asia I notice that it has changed, that it is moving ‘forward’, but every time I return to Africa I don’t notice a difference and, if anything, its going backwards”. To explore this statement, and the reasons behind it, would take a whole book, so I’m not going to go there now(!), suffice to say that South America is firmly in the ‘Asian Camp’ in terms of ‘progress’ (as well as Peru I noticed a huge difference in Chile compared to 6 years ago)...anyway, I digress!
Mancora was, exactly what it says on the tin – a beach and not much else apart from the beach – “small and dusty”, is the best way to describe the town. But it was hot and the hostal I stayed in had a really nice swimming pool (hostals are changing too!), so it was nice to chill out for a couple of days (when in the ‘compound’ of the hostal it felt like I was on a package holiday in Spain – a strange feeling after 6 months on the road).
Next stop was Trujillo – the third largest city in Peru, and home to a good friend (Nora) I had met in Buenos Aires at the start of my trip. I spent 6 fantastic days with Nora and her family, exploring the local pre-inca ruins (including an amazing adobe – mud-brick – palace and city) as well as really experiencing Peruvian family life and Peruvian food (ceviche being my favourite – basically fresh, raw fish in lemon juice – beats sushi hands down). It was a brilliant 6 days and I was sad to leave.
The final stop in Peru was Lima – I had two days in Lima and got a look at the two extremes of the social spectrum in the capital. On Saturday I met up with a couple of friends I had encountered in Brazil and headed to a birthday party in a very rich neighbourhood. If you have ever watched the sickening MTV programme “My Sweet 16th”, you will get a picture of what the party was like – big house, swimming pool, dj, marquee, free bar, free food, waiters in tuxedos…and the guy was only 18! Ok, so it wasn’t anywhere near those disgusting “Sweet 16th” parties, but considering I was in Peru it was pretty damn extravagant…still, it was good to see my friends. Sunday was completely different, and altogether more real.
6 years ago, on my first visit to Peru, I joined a tour for 3 weeks. I quickly learnt that I was not a ‘tour person’, but the guide was brilliant, a really nice guy, and we often ended up going for beers after the rest of the group had gone to bed. Anyway, I had been trying to get hold of his contact details for the last 2 months from the tour company in England, but had received no response. However, whilst walking around Lima on the Saturday I started to recognize places and streets (my visual memory is pretty good), when I stumbled across a plaza that I definitely recognised. (It was at this point that I assumed the role of Jason Bourne…errr, ok, so I’m reading Bourne Supremacy at the moment and might be getting carried away…but, honestly, this was Bourne-esque!) Images flashed through my mind and, following my instincts, I retraced steps I had taken 6 years previously and managed to find the small hotel I had stayed in (bearing in my mind I had no road name or hotel name to go on). I walked in and asked the receptionist if they knew a tour guide called ‘Dante’, who was from the highlands of Peru, had a tattoo of his son on his arm, and had stayed in the hotel with a tour group 6 years ago (the only information I could recall!). He said he had the number of 2 guides with the name of Dante. I called one and, low and behold, it was the right one – chances – Bourne would have been proud! We arranged to meet at 1pm the next day (incredibly Dante was just finishing a tour and returning to Lima that evening) and what followed was a fantastic day with Dante and his family in their house (it was fathers day) and two separate street parties attended soley by people from the highlands of Peru – among the poorest of the residents in Lima. Weird costumes, even weirder dancing…and copious amounts of alcohol - it’s the custom that one glass is shared by the group you are with and this is filled, consumed and passed to the next person as quickly as possible! It was a great day, completely unique, completely authentic and, by the end of it, completely drunk! These are the kind of experiences I really treasure when traveling. Thanks Dante.
And here I am, back where it all started, in the incredible, alluring, addictive city of Buenos Aires. I took a flight from Lima and, as soon as the plane touched down, I started smiling – I just love this city. It’s been an amazing 6 months, full of incredible experiences and, you may ask, what about the Spanish??! Well, I can certainly get by – buying food, drinks, bus tickets, hotel rooms is not a problem…and, I can, now, have a conversation in Spanish, albeit a very slow, simple conversation in Spanish! The 2 months in Portuguese speaking Brazil didn’t help, but I’m getting there, and I’m more determined than ever to continue studying and learning this beautiful language on my return.
******** Bonus Section - Summary of a Years Worth of Musing ********
I’ve had a lot of time to think over the course of this incredible year in my life. A lot of time to look at myself, at my life, at who I am, at where I’m heading and, ultimately, at what life’s about. I haven’t come up with any radically new ideas or theories, but I have started to fully understand some that have been banded around by philosophers, religious leaders, poets and popstars(!) alike over the last 1000 years or so.
This life is the only one you will live – no, the possibility of reincarnation is not entirely lost on me (on the contrary, I have started to think this is a real possibility), but I do believe that the current life you are living is the only one you will remember – the only one you are consciously aware of. You may well have been the Queen of Sheeba, Albert Einstein, or a butterfly, in a former life, but you can’t really remember it can you? You have to (and I apologise now that this last post is going to be full of cheesy clichés) “live life to the fullest”. Everything in life is an experience –and you should embrace each experience, learn from it, and move on. Don’t waste your time and energy getting angry/upset/mad/sad/depressed about “bad” things that happen to you over which you have no control. Just soak up the experience (Bov it) and move on – “life is too short” (that’s 2!). Seek out new experiences – you can only grow as a person if you are learning, and to experience is to learn. Traveling is one way to have hundreds of new, exciting, scary, uplifting, exhilarating experiences in a condensed time period. For those that are reading this, sitting at desks in a job you neither enjoy nor gain satisfaction from, and especially for those that have never felt the weight of a backpack on their shoulders, I urge you to take the opportunity, the huge opportunity, that we, in the West, have to travel. We are so lucky to have been born in countries in which the opportunities really are endless – don’t miss this one particular opportunity that will help you grow as an individual and, ultimately, help you to appreciate all the other opportunities that you have at your disposal.
Traveling also really hammers home the point that “we are all one” (is that 3 now?!). All around the world, regardless of race, religion or creed, commonalities are easy to see. Children display this more clearly than adults (before they are ‘polluted’ by society, cultural stereotypes or ideology) – for example, have you ever noticed how kids everywhere get immense pleasure from simply running around in circles(!)…and, indeed, from chasing pigeons! This, in my mind, is categorically the proof that we are all one! But, ultimately, what bonds us all, I believe, is the common desire to be happy. Now, I acknowledge that people around the world have different ideas about what will make them happy (money, corporate success, fame, spiritual well-being… etc) but we do all have the same objective. Money, for me, is certainly not a source of happiness. Whilst working for Accenture I could never say that I was rich, but I certainly had more money than I had ever had in the past – but was I happy? Working long hours on tedious, mind-numbing projects that neither challenged the intellect, nor provided any satisfaction (“I can’t get no, ouh ouh ouh, satisfaction” – does that count as 4??!) ensured that true happiness was kept firmly at bay - indeed, I felt like my life was on hold for 4 and a half years – and when you’ve only got one life, that’s a long time! I’m not saying I’m going to run off to the hills and set my self up in a self-sustainable farm somewhere (although I think this would be an interesting experience) – I know that I need money to live, I’m just saying that the pursuit of it (and, indeed, the pursuit of a ‘career’), at the neglect of other more important things in life (relationships, friends, family, simply enjoying oneself), is not the route to happiness. Someone rich in experiences and knowledge, for me, is a much richer person than someone with huge material wealth.
True happiness then, to achieve that allusive state, I’m starting to learn that you need to be happy with yourself, who you are, where you are, what you do, where you are going – you need to be confident in what you believe, but leave yourself open to new, different ideas. You need to build strong and genuine relationships with family and friends – to be unselfish, to be there for them, to listen and to respond. Your physical location, for sure, can have an influence on your state of mind (as can the weather!), but this isn’t a permanent contributor to happiness – I have always maintained that it is not where you are, but who you’re with that makes a great night out – and this applies in the wider context of where you are living your life. [Some of the happiest, certainly some of the smiliest, people I know reside in a small village called Bajjo in Uganda. And, while we’re at it, I firmly believe in the old saying “smile and the world smiles with you” (that’s 5)].
The last couple of years have also taught me that the “cherry on top” (can I include that as 6?!) of it all is to find someone you love, someone who is in the same position as you (physically and mentally), someone who loves you equally and unconditionally - to share your life, who you are and you relationships, with that person is magical. You need to be your own person first, however, to be your own ‘circle’ – the other person shouldn’t “complete you” (7) – Jerry Maguire was wrong on that count! You should be happy and complete first – but sharing that happiness with someone you love really does enhance it. This is the ultimate, the ‘final piece of the puzzle’ and the most difficult to achieve, but, I believe, from my limited experience, it’s worth the search.
As I board the plane tomorrow, leaving behind this incredible and beautiful continent and, with my exit, the end of my ‘Big Year Out’, I don’t feel sad as I thought I might. Instead I am incredibly excited. I’m excited about seeing friends and family, I’m excited about roast dinners, gravy, fry-ups and a good cup of tea! I’m excited about re-loading my iPod with music (my iPod was wiped in Brazil – I’ve had some very painful, very long, bus journeys!) and I’m excited about the future. I don’t know exactly what I’m going to do when I return, but I’m not scared. I have some ideas and which ever one transpires will be an experience in which to learn and grow. One thing I know for sure is that I can’t face doing a job in which I neither believe in, nor gain satisfaction from – I’ve done that, I‘ve experienced that and I’ve learnt from that.
I’m going to end with a quote from an incredibly cheesy movie (Australia) that I saw on a date with a beautiful Peruvian girl. It may be cheesy, but bov, it really rings true for my current state of mind… “Some people surround themselves in possessions – houses, cars, gadgets – in the pursuit of happiness, but, all of these things can be taken away and, at the end of the day, all you are left with is your story – and I’m just trying to live a good one”.
1 comment:
Ricky! Me encanto este post...casi que me haces llorar.
Nos encanto que vinieras a BA, que te quedaras en nuestra casa y que hayamos podido compartir parte de tu gran viaje con vos!
Fran y to te mando un beso grande y esperamos que hayas llegado bien y feliz a tu casa.
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